Belle's Diary, Season 2
by jennykate75
Summary: Belle's saga continues as she chronicles her life throughout the second season of Once Upon A Time. From the author of the original Belle's Diary, Season 1.


_September 30_

Lying in Rumple's bed across his red duvet?

Check.

Wearing sexy lingerie that I bought from Sally and Vera at Modern Fashions?

Check.

Strategically propped against the headboard in a position that elevates my breasts, with my legs slightly parted in the direction of the door?

Check.

You have no idea how excited I am. After being cooped up in a mental hospital ward for 28+ years, I remember who I am. I've been reunited with the man I love, and he loves me in return. I am going to ravish him like a … well, like a woman who is long overdue for some ravishing.

If only he'd get his cute butt up here! What is taking him so long?! He knows I'm waiting. I showed him my purchases — including this nightie and matching thong. He knows this is coming. Not only should we be making love for the first time, but it should be considered makeup sex from our earlier fight. Everyone knows makeup sex is 1,000 times better than regular sex. Or at least that's what I've heard — if I can ever experience it.

Well, until he makes it up here, I might as well recount what has happened thus far.

I asked Rumple at the wishing well if he was releasing magic into this world as retaliation for my capture. He assured me that he was not, although it would be a good reason to. I made him promise not to give into his hate by killing Regina. We were finally reunited, which is all that really mattered, and I just wanted to move on. We kissed and my lips tingled as I snuggled against him. This is all I ever wanted: him holding and loving me, committing himself not only to me, but to the good I knew was within him. I could finally have my happy ending.

We returned to his shop where he retrieved some second-hand clothes for me to wear. I then visited my dear friends Sally and Vera at their shop, Modern Fashions, down the block. I had met them after I moved into Rumple's castle; they created my wardrobe then, so it seemed only fitting that they'd create one for me now. I selected several pieces (including the lingerie I am in now) and returned to the shop. As I snuck in the back door, I heard Rumple reveal that he had arranged for Regina's imminent death at someone else's hands. When the people he was talking to left the shop, I appeared from behind the curtain and confronted him.

"You toy with words, like you do people," I accused as my eyes welled with tears. "You're still the man who makes wrong choices. I'd thought you'd changed."

Without missing a beat, he replied, "What, in the hour you've known me?"

A slap in the face would have been less painful. And would have left less of a mark.

I ran out the door, unsuccessfully quelling my sobs. I didn't care if there was a maniac Wraith wreaking havoc across Storybrooke. The Wraith's destruction was nothing in comparison to Rumple's on my own heart.

I wandered the streets of Storybrooke in a daze. I don't recommend doing this in heels. Sure, wearing heels lengthens the body and make my legs look shapely and fabulous, but you do NOT want to see how hideously scarred my toes are right now. All magic comes with a price? So does beauty.

Anyway, during my walk I saw the Wraith tearing apart buildings in his frantic search for Regina. I looked into his bright red eyes. He looked at me, THROUGH me, and I inhaled sharply. Most people would see a monster, a beast. Instead, I saw another desperate soul cursed and in need of saving. I wondered what had happened to bring him into such a state. Had he ever loved before — and if so, was that love lost? My heart went out to him.

I took a step forward and opened my mouth to speak. The Wraith, sensing my lack of fear, cowered and flew away, returning to his frantic search for Regina.

I blinked. Trying to look at things from the Wraith's perspective made me realize I had not considered Rumple's. We'd been trapped in a curse for 28 years. He'd been told I was dead when all the while I was the Evil Queen's prisoner. Given his circumstances, he SHOULD want to rip Regina a new one. I knew better than to give in to such hate, but Rumple didn't have ME around to help him through it! Of course he was still a man who made wrong choices! In one day, I couldn't undo 28+ years worth of damage, not to mention all that occurred before he met me in the Enchanted Forest as well as after I left. Just because he now looked as I imagined he would if the Dark Curse had broken doesn't mean that it actually had. Someday we would both have our happy ending, but I couldn't expect it to be today. Instead, today was the first day of our journey towards it.

So I went back to him, casually acting like neither of us had made asses of ourselves. He made the same nonchalant yet uncomfortable attempt, mentioning offhand that the Wraith was gone and Regina lived.

I pursed my lips. "So you didn't get what you wanted?"

"Well, that remains to be seen," he replied with a glint in his eye.

My heart flip flopped as I processed his words. Then I noticed the chipped cup sitting next to him. I gasped and gingerly grasped it. He'd kept this treasure, after all these years.

"There are many, many things in this shop," he explained as he slipped his fingers around the cup and lifted it from my hands. "But this? This is the only thing I truly cherish."

My heart leapt to my throat. And in true Rumple fashion, it fell into the pit of my stomach when he added, "And now you must leave." Rumple wouldn't be Rumple if he didn't take me on an emotional roller coaster ride.

When he explained that I needed to leave because he was still a monster, I put my hands on his shoulders. "Don't you see? That's exactly the reason I have to stay."

We shared a moment staring into each other's eyes gratefully. I finally turned away and eyed the bag of purchases that I'd left behind before my judgmental outburst earlier.

I showed him my new clothes (including the lingerie) and looked for signs of an opinion as I modeled them up against me. He answered by suggesting we go to his home. He gave me a tour of his beautiful Victorian. He didn't discuss which bedroom would be mine — he just pointed out which room was his and that the others were guest rooms.

I stood in the hallway, biting my lip, uncertain of what to do next.

He looked at me quizzically, hoping to read my mind — and failing miserably.

"Are you tired?" he asked. "I'm sure you must be. It's been a long day for you."

I bit my lip harder. "I think it's time that I got ready for bed," I artfully answered, hoping he'd take the hint.

Rumple looked at the floor and nodded. "I'll leave you to it then. I'll be back up in a bit."

He limped his way down the stairs. I winced. Did he understand what I was trying to say? How could I make it clearer?

"I will, um … just be in there then?" My voice inadvertently rose an octave, which made my attempt at a nonchalant statement sound like a question.

He paused on the landing and stared at me. I stared back, my lip quivering as I awaited his reply. I tried to hide my nervousness and add clarity by gesturing towards his room with my hand.

His eyes followed my gesture towards his room. "Whatever you like," he finally replied. And he made his way back downstairs.

So here I am in his bed, without him.

Where is he? What is taking him so long? I'm resigned to being patient and foregoing the happy ending I always wanted for now, but can't I at least get a different kind of "happy ending" this evening?

Sigh — this day has just been so exhausting. Rumple does have a very comfortable bed. Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a minute…

_October 21_

I cannot even begin to tell you all that has happened to me in the past few weeks. I suppose it's best to start where I left off.

After my last diary entry, I fell asleep and had a nightmare. In it, Rumple gave me a beautiful necklace, but then Dreamy, a dwarf I met in the Enchanted Forest, came into the shop demanding his axe. Rumple turned into his cursed self, gold skin and all, and started choking him. My worst fear was realized: Rumple hadn't changed at all.

I awoke and noticed that Rumple hadn't returned to the bedroom. In a huff, I decided to look for him. I descended to the first floor only to discover no trace of him. I went out the back door into the backyard, but still no sign of him. Then I noticed a light from the basement window. I knelt down and peeked inside.

Rumple was spinning and using magic.

I returned to the house and sat in the dark living room, silently fuming. I don't know how long I sat there for, but the next thing I knew, the sun had risen and he was walking through the back door.

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hey," I responded and rose, revealing my lingerie. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me. I was too upset to acknowledge his notice.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He recovered quickly. "I was, uh, going to make you breakfast."

"No, I mean in the basement. I saw you practicing magic."

Rumple grabbed a carafe of orange juice from the refrigerator. "Have some breakfast," he insisted.

But I would not be swayed. Yes, I had been up all night stewing, and yes I was hungry, but I could hardly see what that had to do with my mood. I mean, it CAN affect my mood, but it just belittled the intensity of my feelings.

"No, we need to talk about this!" I protested.

He assured me he was just creating a couple of spells, and when I asked the real reason he brought magic here, he reiterated that magic is power. But why does he need it? Alas, on this subject he remained mum.

"You don't need power, Rumple," I told him. "You need courage to let me in."

I retreated in a huff to Rumple's room and dressed. As I did, my anger grew. I thought one of my favorite new outfits would cheer me up — a blue lace dress with red leather belt and matching red heels — but it didn't. I was so disgusted with Rumple that all I wanted to do was get as far away from him as possible.

But how could I do that without walking by and seeing him? Simple. I'd just sneak out the second story window.

This all seemed like a stellar idea at the time.

I grabbed the bag of clothes I purchased and threw it out the window. Then I started to climb down the trellis.

After a few steps, the trellis broke. As I hung onto the remaining pieces attached to the house, dangling in the breeze, I realized my plan's error. But I was committed to it. My arms weren't strong enough to pull myself back up into the room, and the last thing I wanted was for Rumple to see me like this. So I kicked my shoes off and aimed for a bush to break my fall.

Feeling liberated but foolish, I brushed myself off, grabbed my bag and tossed it over my shoulder. I put my shoes back on and continued on my merry way into town.

Granny's diner caught my eye. My mouth salivated and my stomach growled. I suddenly felt famished.

I only had a few dollars left of the money Rumple gave me to buy clothes, not enough to buy a meal. As I looked at the menu, a drink called iced tea caught my eye. Unlimited refills?! My breakfast was MADE!

When I was on my third glass, the waitress asked if I was OK. She mentioned she'd never seen me before. Without giving her too many details, I replied I'd been a kept woman until recently. She asked if I'd just experienced a bad breakup, and I answered that I thought I was headed there. She introduced herself as Ruby and said she could ask Granny for a room above the diner for me to stay in until I got back on my feet. This offer led to a discussion about our lives in the Enchanted Forest and how we were coping in Storybrooke. I sighed as I finished my saga. Ruby was a good listener and didn't judge me on my feelings for Rumple. I appreciated that.

"What I really need though is a life," I summarized. "A job."

"Well, what do you like to do?" she asked.

I thought about it for a moment. "I do love books."

Ruby's eyes alit. "The library! It's been closed forever, but things are changing now. Maybe they need a librarian."

After I finished my third iced tea, Ruby gave me directions to the library and I headed straight there. The front door was locked and the windows were boarded up, but I was able to peek through the boards to see the shelves of books inside. My spirits soared. I remembered the first time I walked into a library, the rush I felt as I held a smooth, leather-bound book in my hand — its scent as I thumbed through its fresh, crisp pages — the euphoria of sitting in a quiet nook and entering another world. I imagined sharing that same joy with others. Access to books is crucial to the psyche of Storybrooke residents: at the moment, expanding one's imagination through reading is the only way to escape the confines of this town.

I was so absorbed in my daydream that I didn't notice a man saunter up next to me — or the danger he posed as he kidnapped me.

I found myself in a shed in front of my father. He was the one who hired a self-proclaimed 'procurer of hard-to-find objects' to kidnap me. I was ecstatic to be reunited, but distraught at the manner he'd done it. My father thought Rumplestiltskin was still holding me captive, so I explained that I chose to be with him. He asked if I loved Rumple, and I said that I did, but that I feared the relationship would soon be over. He vehemently voiced that it must be over, and I stepped back at his insistence. I am not a child! This is MY life! It's time for me to finally live it as I see fit!

"Then I don't have a choice," he mumbled at my reply. "I'm sorry." He turned to my kidnapper. "Do it."

The man grabbed me and dragged me out.

"Goodbye Belle. I love you!" my father declared.

The man took me to the mines, dropped me into a cart, and handcuffed me to it. He explained that he was sending me underground across the town line so I could forget who I was and who I loved. He gave me a flashlight and explained that the key was in the bottom of the cart. He wished me luck and released the brake.

The cart terrified me as it raced through the mines. I scrambled for the key, found it, and then dropped it on the tracks. A mental and emotional death was imminent. To me that was just as bad as a physical one. My last hope of escape vanished, my dread intensified, and my bladder emptied.

Then the cart jolted. Magic engulfed me and pulled me backwards. The uncertainty of what was happening only strengthened my fear.

As the cart rounded a corner, I saw Rumple, Ruby, my father and a male deputy. With a flick of Rumple's wrist, my handcuffs opened.

The deputy lifted me out of the cart and lowered me. I tried to catch my breath and calm my racing heart.

Rumple stepped forward and asked if I was alright. When I replied that I thought I was, he asked if I remembered who I was. I confirmed that I did by calling him by his name. He put his arm around me and pulled me toward him. I pushed him away as I felt the remains of the three iced teas on my legs.

"Thank you for what you just did. But that doesn't change that you're too cowardly to be honest with me," I noted.

My father perked up and asked me to leave with him. After what he just did to me?! The audacity! I told him off too. From now on, I decide my own life.

"If either of you cared about me, you would have listened," I pontificated, strutting bow legged as I tried to cope with and hide my present awkward condition. "I don't want to see either of you again. Ever."

I felt miserable as I walked out and realized how far I was from the center of town. I couldn't make the walk in these heels. I was going to need a ride back. And after giving such a speech.

I shuffled down the main road anyway. Soon after, Ruby pulled the truck up beside me and stopped. The door to the back cab was closed.

"David is back there to calm your father and Gold," Ruby explained. There were towels on the front passenger seat. "Why don't I give you a ride back to the diner? I called Granny and she's getting your room ready, including a hot bath if you'd like it."

My eyes widened and my lip quivered. "You can tell, can't you?"

Ruby hesitated. "Only because I'm a wolf. I doubt I'd be able to tell otherwise."

"You don't think they…?"

Ruby shook her head. "They can't notice anything. They're MEN!"

I climbed into the cab and started to sob. Oh, the humiliation! I was still crying when Ruby dropped me off in front of the diner.

"Go around the back and up the stairs to Room 7." She dangled the key from its chain and I took it. "Granny left you some lunch as well."

I smiled at her gratefully. "Thank you, Ruby. Thank you so much."

When I opened the door, the scent of food wafted over me: grilled cheese, French fries and a glass of chocolate milk. Granny correctly assumed I wanted to forgo the iced tea. I devoured them in less than a minute; I had no idea how hungry I'd been. A bath had been drawn and I lowered myself in. When I exited the bathroom, I noticed my outfit had been removed for washing and that a mini-pizza and another glass of chocolate milk were left on the table. A fluffy white robe lay on the bed. I put the robe around me and downed a second lunch at a more normal speed. Then I lay on the bed and looked out the window.

I'd been so foolish. Here I was yelling at my father and Rumple for treating me like a child. And all the time I was acting like one. I hadn't taken care of myself. I hadn't gotten adequate sleep nor sustenance. Rumple had been right — I had needed breakfast. Then we could have talked in a rational manner. But what did I do? I snuck out of his house like a rebellious teenager. I failed to realize how being the Dark One's lover put me at risk. I wasn't living under normal circumstances — and it didn't look like I would for quite some time. I needed to prove that I could take care of myself, that I could stand on my own two feet. So far I was failing miserably. And these heels weren't helping.

I let my eyelids flutter closed. It was time to rest.

After a full meal that night and a good night sleep, I awoke refreshed and ready to tackle a new day in my new life. Ruby introduced me to pancakes. I told her how grateful I felt for all she was doing for me. I was finally coming into my own, and she didn't judge me for my botched attempts.

She replied not to worry and then added, "Oh, I almost forgot. Someone dropped this off for you at the front desk."

She placed a small box in front of me. I opened it and discovered a key labeled "library". Although I wanted to run off right then and there, I had learned my lesson about needing a good breakfast before starting my day. I pulled my hair back so I wouldn't get syrup in it, and ate.

After breakfast, I walked to the library and tried the key in the door. It opened. I stepped inside and glanced around. This place would require a great deal of cleaning and prepping, but the structure had good bones. I briefly remembered assessing my duties in a similar manner at Rumple's castle, but I chased the comparison from my mind.

"We may sit in our library, and yet be in all quarters of the Earth," a familiar voice proclaimed. Rumple emerged from behind a shelf.

"You gave me the key," I noted.

"I heard of your interest and I made some inquiries," he responded. "There's an apartment for the caretaker if you want it."

I shuddered as my heart soared. No, you are NOT doing this to me again!

"If, if, this is some way to win me back after everything you…" I began, trying to harden my bursting heart.

He interrupted me and clarified his purpose.

He told me I was right about him: he was a coward and had been his whole life. He tried to make up for it by collecting power, but it became so important that he couldn't let go of it — not even when that meant losing the most important person in his life: his son Baelfire. After Baelfire left, Rumple dedicated himself to finding his son — and found a curse that could take him to the land where Baelfire escaped. Once the curse had been enacted, he only had to wait for it to be broken so he could leave and find his son. But magic had become a crutch he couldn't live without, so he brought it back. And because of his cowardice actions, he can never leave Storybrooke because he'll forget the people he loves, including Baelfire. So he's doing magic as a means of breaking this new curse — and finally finding his son.

"I have lost so much that I love," he explained. "I didn't want to lose you again without you knowing everything."

His finger brushed my cheek as tears welled in my eyes.

"Goodbye Belle," he whispered. He turned and limped away.

My heart warred with my head — and my heart won.

"Have you ever had a hamburger?" I asked as casually as I could muster. "I … I haven't," I sputtered as my nervousness showed. "But I hear that Granny's makes a great one." My eyebrows rose hopefully. "Maybe we could try it sometime?"

His eyes glistened with tears. "I would like that," he answered as a smile crept across his face. I watched him turn and leave the library, closing the door gently behind him.

I exhaled slowly and my muscles became putty at such an emotionally charged experience. I rustled in my bag for my diary, found a cozy corner of this library to sit, and finally managed to put the past month into words.

As I sit in my new haven, I know I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am up for the challenge.

And I'm not just talking about this library.


End file.
